Don't Be In Such a Hurry To Solve Your Problems
posted: Sep 18, 2018.
Don’t Be In Such a Hurry To Solve Your Problems
OCTOBER 5, 2016 ~ LISA YAEGER, LPC
Don’t be in such a hurry to solve your problems. That sounds crazy, I know.
I see people every day who can’t sit still.
Is this you?
You are suffering from an uncomfortable situation, a challenge or a crisis.
You are cruising along in your life. Most things are going well. Then suddenly you find out that something is not right. Perhaps someone has betrayed you. You blew it at work. Your relationship is not perfect. A scary health issues knocks you over.
After the panic, your greatest wish is to fix it! Do something as soon as possible!
Wait. Don’t be in such a hurry. Many of your fears are puffed up by stress, lonelines, and confusion. Faded memories from past crisis can serve up extra panic and doom.
When something hurts us, we scramble for control. We try to make a plan, take the hard steps, force a solution. Usually this makes it worse.
What to do.
Calm yourself by talking things over. Write. Play. Take a walk.
Wait for the mud to settle. Wait for the water to get calm and clear.
Don’t take action, until you feel calm and that action feels solid. Many things that look like solutions, are NOT solutions.
Sometimes we do have to make hard decisions. Sometimes we have to end relationships, quit jobs, sell houses, take a leap. But not so fast.
Live with uncertainty.
Continue to do your work. Live your life. Cook dinner. Clean up. Live with the uncertainty for a little while and see what uncertainty teaches you.